It’s been a long time. This feels like the tranquility of entering a log cabin in Aspen , dropping the luggage at the door, stripping down to nothing but skivvies, a thin sheer baby T, a cashmere scarf, and soft aloe infused socks. Followed by pouring a nice perfectly full bodied glass of Cabernet, strolling across dark chocolate colored wooden floors, and sinking into a plush cream colored micro suede body enveloping chair by the calmly flickering fire…
As I sift through the superficialities of life I am realizing that the richness of life lies in the simplicity of being. In the last 4 years of life I have been loved, screwed, fucked, fucked over, and made tender passionate love to. In the last year I have cried less than I ever have, made love to a man that relished in every inch of my body, experienced multiple orgasms, came so hard I swear I touched the sky and kissed a cloud, and watched this same man sit back smoke a blunt and just stare at me before heading to the kitchen to fry me some fish.
The relationship didn’t work. In between mind altering sex, deep fulfilling conversations, and late night cuddling I remembered that I still had two little boys that depend on me spiritually, and he remembered that he was afraid of love and its transforming powers. I went on a spiritual cleanse as he wallowed in the fear that Karma would be a bitch and sting his ass with the same hurt that he caused other women years before he met me.
I’m unfortunately fortunate that this wasn’t my first rodeo. This experience helped me grow. For once in my life there was a man that let me be me…all of me. He spoiled me sexually, mentally, affectionately, and allowed me the ability to just be. What we had was simple. When I was in his presence I simply was. Being with him was equivalent to taking a mental vacation away from it all. My mind never shuts off even when I sleep at night. I felt so secure with him that for once in my life I got to bask in the rich simplicity of being and not think about anything other than that moment in time.
For that, he will always be my King of Calm.
