Sweet Escape

I’m sure almost everyone knows I am divorced with two sons. It’s also no secret that I am sensual, maybe overly so, and I love men. What I have never done thus far, however, is mix my two loves, my children and men. I take my mothering seriously.


Every other weekend my children visit their dad. That’s my time to ‘date’ so to speak. I know that isn’t ideal for some, but I get peace of mind knowing my children have my presence at home with them during the week. That means a lot to wee ones. On the rare occasions I do plan dates on weeknights I am sure to have devoted most of my time to the boys and ensured they have been fed, bathed, given any medications, and homework has been done. These weekday dates are usually reserved for men I have known for a while that travel quite a bit and happen to be in town for a few days. I also sometimes give these rare opportunities to men I really like that have been understanding of my situation and have never pressured me. It’s a small way of saying “thank you” I suppose.

My children have never met any man I have ever dated. I don’t want them to see me with various men and perceive me to be a loose woman. I also don’t want them growing attached to anybody that does not have a significant role in my life. I imagine it would be hard as a kid having different men in and out of your life. Not to mention, there are lots of sick people out there that love to do the unspeakable to children. One can never be too trusting when it comes to keeping the babies safe from predators. My parents have been married all my life, so I don’t know what it’s like to have had various step parents, but I do know what stability and the safe feeling of home is like, and that is what I aim for in the rearing of my little love muffins.

I want to be loved and lie in the arms of a man every night, but I am not willing to compromise my boys’ childhood in order to achieve that. I indulge in my hedonistic pleasures on my own time when they are away. I salute the men that understand and respect my wishes. They are truly gems. I make mental notes of their likes and try to indulge them when I can as tokens of my appreciations. It’s men like them that make swallowing the pill of being a single mom a bit smoother. I always feel like a schoolgirl sneaking out when I go out with them. It’s the sweetest of escapes.

Sometimes

Sometimes, as a woman that seemingly has her ish together but acutely aware of all her shortcomings, I need a wide chest to cradle my head and brazen arms strong enough to make me feel no harm could reach me. I need to stand on my tippy toes and kiss soft lips that sincerely beckon my own and peer into eyes that adore me. I inhabit the sensation of having my skin, curves, face, and hair caressed by gentle fingers that soothingly dismantle my fortress of ‘Never Appear Weak.’ Occasionally I need to be in the presence of a man that allows me to simply be my perfectly imperfect self, sometimes quiet as a cool breeze and other times inquisitive as a child. Such a man may prove to be the bane of my existence, but at least I will have felt like a woman while I existed.