Wah-lah! Magic!

Almost every woman I know is totally cool with and down for being her man’s sweet little whore in the bedroom. We all want to blow our glittery freak dust in your face and call out “Wah-lah! Magic!” as we leave you in need of electrolytes. Okay, typing that made me giggle, but seriously, we want that. In the words of Jill Scott, “I am not afraid to be your lady. I am not afraid to be your whore.” Many of us are eagerly anticipating the day we can proudly let our freak flags fly and go hard in the paint with no inhibitions. What’s stopping us? Well, I’m glad you asked, love muffins.



The number one reason we don’t go all out in the bedroom is because there is either none, or a lack of, exclusivity and/or monogamy. There are some women that pull every trick out the bag upon the first second of penetration without so much as a mention of monogamy. Those women usually end up alone, labeled as top notch hoes (yes, there is a difference between being a hoe and your man’s private whore), and eventually wind up being bitter. Most times they are just looking for love and equate good sex with the power to make a man commit. While good sex is some powerful stuff, it rarely leads to long term commitment. Then there are other women. I love good sex as much as the next warm blooded able bodied adult, but I will NOT put my best lemon meringue cookies in a jar only to have the crumbs of the other assorted cookies in the jar downplay the flavor and appeal of my own. I will, however, toss my regular oreos or chips ahoy in that bad boy. I may even offer up the cheesecake filled ones if I’m really feeling the guy, but not my best. My best is reserved for the man that will savor the complexity, smoothness, and richness of me, all of and only me. This is the man whose last name I’d proudly wear and whose child I’d willingly house in my womb.


The second reason is lack of security. If a woman doesn’t feel she can freely be herself with you, you won’t get the best of her in any capacity. This rings true most times in relationships that are abusive on some level, be it emotional, mental, or physical. There is always an ever-present fear factor. Liberty can’t operate and coexist with fear. There was only one man in my life that completely allowed me to be me, and even with him I held back because I knew I was not the only one. If he had been my faithful husband it would have been on and popping. There would have been almost nothing I would not have tried at least once, minus a threesome. There can only be one femme fatale in any bedroom I occupy. Yes, I am a whole lot of vain and selfish with my toys.


The last reason is she just doesn’t want to. Maybe the man is married, or he’s just something to do to pass time. Maybe she’s doing it out of sympathy because she feels sorry for the poor bloke. I have never had sympathy sex, but it happens. I doubt I would twerk his pole in true porno fashion if I was simply putting out to pacify him. No sir, he would get the dollar store barely suitable for consumption box of cookies.


My advice? Don't give your pearls, whatever they may be, your time, body, sex, mental stimulation, heart, etc. to swine. Don't kiss frogs in hopes they'll become what you see in them that they can't, and don't lay down with dogs that have been infested with fleas (i.e. other women). The dog may not harm you, but those fleas bite with intent to inject bitterness and pain. If you are a man-eater and can separate your heart from your vagina, then by all means, cast those pearls and enjoy yourself a nice BLT afterward. Now that, would be magic. I’ve never met a woman that could pull that one off and walk away still feeling whole.

These are solely my opinions. I do not own the rights to the image used in this post.