I say I want to get married again. I know that I am a really good woman and could make just about any man happy. Not bragging, just stating what I perceive to be the truth as believed by me. The thing is that I am starting to lose hope in the entire institution of marriage. Most people are full of sh*t, both men and women. Not all women are looking for a sugar daddy or Captain Save a Hoe. Yes, I am a single mother, but I am not looking for a ‘daddy’ for my children. They have one of those, and though we don’t get along, I thank God that my sons do have a relationship with their father. I am independent, but I dare not say that I do not need a man. I don’t need one to support me financially, but it would be really nice to have one that supported me emotionally and backed me when it came to living out my dreams, no matter how off beat they may be.

I guess I am slowly starting to lose my hope in marriage because of what I don’t see on a daily basis. I work with a ton of men, and we talk about sex, love, life, relationships, families, and everything else in between, but what I don’t see is them lighting up or even smiling when they mention their wives. I have yet to meet a married man that I couldn’t bed, which really disheartens me. I know that I have a sexual aura about me because I am a very sensual woman, but I want to meet just one married man that can see that I am attractive, yet never make a pass at me because he knows and lets it be known that his wife is the business, and that in his eyes no other woman holds a candle to her.

I guess what I am looking for just doesn’t exist. I want to marry my best friend. That one that I can laugh and joke with, be silly, goofy and nerdy in front of, share my innermost fears, hopes, dreams, and aspirations with, debate with, disagree with, get mad at, yet still lay down every night knowing that I have the assurance of lying next to my very best friend…and a mind blowing sex life would be the icing on the cake. I love Black men and think that they are la crème de la crème, but I want to meet just one that defies all the stereotypes about Black men and relationships. I know it’s hard to get off the freak train, open up emotionally, and lay your pride to the side in order for the one that truly loves you to help you…but isn’t it worth it if this means living a richer life than you could ever achieve alone, or with one that doesn’t challenge you to reach your full potential?