Share Me With Me

I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I have been in. Admittedly, this has made me a bit apprehensive with regard to relationships. Once bitten twice shy I suppose.

When I was younger I would dwell on the hurts of being cheated on for months. I was trying to figure out why I wasn’t enough or what I could have done differently. After compiling lists upon list of “maybe ifs” I could never come up with answers that would have left me feeling whole.

As I have gotten older I just try to walk away from the hurt having gained more wisdom. I no longer participate in the “maybe if” torture. I apply the question, “Is it working?” very ruthlessly to my life. If the answer is no, then I almost instantly cut the thing or person out of my life with no qualms. I am a bit of a minimalist in all areas, but even more so when it comes to mental clutter and emotional energies. I don’t give people very many opportunities to waste the goodness of me.

I am aware that this makes me come across as an Ice Queen to some, but I feel my love and time are things to be earned and respected. I don’t try to change myself in order to keep a man. If he feels the need to cheat, then his purpose in my life has been fulfilled, and his time in it expired. I know my worth, so I no longer wallow in shoulda, coulda, woulda mental anguishes. I’ve no problem with starting over in this love thing as many times as it takes to get it right. I know that I am a delight and treasure to be cherished because I am a giver of life and a Pandora’s Box of sorts full of much wonderment and amazement, a ceaseless mystery and oxymoron of a woman that carries her own weight and willing to help her man reach his highest potential all while keeping it classy, cool, sensual, and free.

Would I love to share the Queendom that I am building with another? Of course! But I refuse to settle for a man that treats me as anything less than the beautiful, rare, and simultaneously free spirited and logical gem of a woman I am. In the words of Eartha Kitt, “I fall in love with myself, and I want someone to share it with me. I want someone to share me with me.”

This video sums up what I am trying to convey here perfectly.