Most of the men in my life have tried to own me in one way or another. I find the notion laughable because I can’t be owned. That went out the door with my marriage. I’ve been mostly emotionally unavailable all my life, so it’s only natural I attracted those kinds of people to myself. Once I became aware of it and started healing that part of myself I started to attract people who were emotionally available to me but not physically so. Again, I had to reflect and realize that though I had opened myself emotionally I wasn’t quite ready to physically be available to anyone, so here I am now, practicing the art of fluidity, learning to just be and go with whatever feels right to ME regardless of how culturally or socially right or wrong it is. So, I view myself as a free agent of sorts. I refuse to be owned, and by the same measure I’m not trying to own another. It took me a long time to get to this place. I had to learn to how to live without the things and people I thought would make me happy, without a man I loved incredibly deeply, and longed for every single day of my life. His absence coupled with not being able to get the things I really wanted taught me to live without attachments, and to not tie my happiness into another person or material things. I had to learn to be whole on my own and not think of myself as a half whose mate would make her complete or whose possessions gave her value.

I’m a far cry from perfect, but every day I am redefining what perfection is to ME, from the way I dress and style my hair to the dynamics of my relationships. There is no right or wrong. It’s all perception. With this mindset comes a lack of desire to judge. I honestly don’t care how other people choose to live as long as it isn’t hurting another. We all have stories to tell, but most of us judge the books’ covers and omit the pages that make them books. My word for 2018 is fluidity.