Your Truths

Lately more and more I keep finding myself wanting to live more of an earthy bohemian-like lifestyle mixed with a bit of luxe. Minimalist, quiet, lots of travel, and delectable earthy sensual pleasures. These are the things I dreamed of as a teenager. I was never one to fantasize about a wedding or huge house filled with lots of children and a loving husband. I dreamed of being a business woman that was free to move about on a whim. This recollection of my past dreams has lead to my doing lots of introspecting and getting to the heart of what I really want and what MY truths are as opposed to what I have been taught to believe, want, and need. 

Q’s Truth Number 1 - I don’t want a traditional house with a yard and a dog. I want a loft, high-rise, or condo. A traditional house is too much of a commitment for me. I felt I should raise my boys in a house because, well, that’s the way it’s supposed to be done. I now realize that as long as your dwelling place is filled with love, understanding, calmness, and lots of food the children will be happy. I am not one of those mothers that wants my children to live with me forever, and I don’t intend to sign up to babysit my grandchildren every weekend. 

Q’s Truth Number 2 – I don’t want to get married. People are constantly asking when I will re-marry. Even my youngest son wants me to be married. I have dated many amazing men, but in my heart of hearts I don’t want to be married. That might change later, but for now I don’t want that. I love having options and the leisure of dealing with a man when I feel like it and on my terms. There is nothing quite like the ability to pick and choose who you want to spend your time with. If I am not in the mood to deal with a particular man’s flavor of personality, then I don’t have to. Every person brings something different to the table. If I want to chill, then I can call guy #1. If I want great conversation, I can call guy #2. If I just want a male’s opinion I can call a male without fear of my man becoming jealous. If I want to be pampered, then I can call just about any man. You get my drift. I get bored quickly and am very selfish with my time, so I need variety and understanding men that respect the fact that I require a lot of alone time.

Q’s Truth Number 3 – I don’t want more children. One of the first things most men ask me is whether or not I can bear more children. Yes, I can, but I don’t want anymore. I am constantly hit with the, “but what if you meet an amazing man that is perfect for you but he wants you to have his baby?” speech. At this point in my life, I would just have to let him pass me by because my answer is no. As with number 1, maybe this will change, but no time soon.

Q’s Truth Number 4 – I am not a traditional mother. My goal is to raise children that become adults that are self sufficient and can think for themselves. I encourage my sons to set trends, not follow them simply to fit in, and to blaze their own trails in life. This makes me a bit more of a laid back mild mannered mother. I rarely ever raise my voice at my boys and treat them with respect. For example, if I tell one of them to take out the trash I would say, “Kailon/Kambren, take the trash out, please. Thank you.” I say thank you before they do it as a way of letting them know I expect you to do it right now. I don’t order them around unless it’s bath time. Boys hate taking baths until they discover girls. I am a stickler for neat appearances, and at times it pains me to watch my 13 year old’s sense of fashion play out before my very eyes. I will make suggestions, and, unless he is wearing something totally ridiculous, I just roll with it and let him express himself via his attire. My only rules are no clothes with skulls and cross bones, because I don’t want reminders of death on my children’s bodies, and no sagging pants. Other than that, most things are fair game. I also encourage them to flow in what they are naturally good at. Kailon loves art, fashion, music, and photography. He’s not athletic. Even though he’s taller than me with a lanky frame I don’t push him to play basketball. Kambren is into anything sports related: wresting, karate, football, etc. I don’t try to get him to paint a portrait or play an instrument. I believe what you are naturally good at is what you should be doing in life. 

What are some of your truths?