Anxiety: Beggar of Simplicity

A few days ago I was struggling with anxiety. I couldn’t understand where it was coming from and was bothered by the fact it was disrupting my already hard to come by sleep at night. The only other time I recall taking notice of anxiety was back in late 2014-early 2015 right before I was laid off my job. Back then I didn’t question what was making me anxious and panicky; I just knew I was tired of my job. On top of being sexually harassed every single day I reported to work, I felt trapped, stuck, and stagnant and as if I was wasting my life away. It never dawned on me to dig inside in an effort to find the source. Unlearned lessons are lesson repeated, right? Back to present day. Over the last two years I have been going through an entire metamorphosis of sorts: mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially, etc. No part of my life has remained untouched by changes.

The other night I decided I was going to have to work things out and demand answers from God, my higher self, spirit, pray, meditate with my crystals, burn some lavender and ylang ylang, and anything else I needed to do to be okay and find answers to this anxiety thing because I didn’t like the way I was feeling. Eventually I calmed myself down and quietly asked, “What is causing this anxiety?” The answer softly replied to me was, “Money and love.” I knew exactly what that meant. Then I asked myself, “What are your heart’s truest desires?” The things that were causing the anxiety were nowhere in the answer to that. I was stressing over things that in the end didn’t even matter to the essence of who I am, things that could easily be resolved if I stopped worrying about them and followed the promptings of my heart and soul, if I started working in my purpose. When I asked what my heart’s desires were, the answer was: A home, candle making, creating bath and body products, yoga, and traveling the world helping and empowering women and girls. My heart’s desires are simple, pure. That put me at ease. The anxiety was caused by what I thought I should have but feared I would never have or have enough of. I have now started making myself enjoy and live in the moments I currently reside in and take everything one day at a time while working to provide my heart with what it wants: simplicity, beauty, and peace. The money will come, and the love was always there in many different forms. I am complete. I came here complete. Now it’s a matter of remembering who and what I was when my soul decided it was time to occupy earth and utilize the inherent power of my soul.