Wah-lah! Magic!

Almost every woman I know is totally cool with and down for being her man’s sweet little whore in the bedroom. We all want to blow our glittery freak dust in your face and call out “Wah-lah! Magic!” as we leave you in need of electrolytes. Okay, typing that made me giggle, but seriously, we want that. In the words of Jill Scott, “I am not afraid to be your lady. I am not afraid to be your whore.” Many of us are eagerly anticipating the day we can proudly let our freak flags fly and go hard in the paint with no inhibitions. What’s stopping us? Well, I’m glad you asked, love muffins.



The number one reason we don’t go all out in the bedroom is because there is either none, or a lack of, exclusivity and/or monogamy. There are some women that pull every trick out the bag upon the first second of penetration without so much as a mention of monogamy. Those women usually end up alone, labeled as top notch hoes (yes, there is a difference between being a hoe and your man’s private whore), and eventually wind up being bitter. Most times they are just looking for love and equate good sex with the power to make a man commit. While good sex is some powerful stuff, it rarely leads to long term commitment. Then there are other women. I love good sex as much as the next warm blooded able bodied adult, but I will NOT put my best lemon meringue cookies in a jar only to have the crumbs of the other assorted cookies in the jar downplay the flavor and appeal of my own. I will, however, toss my regular oreos or chips ahoy in that bad boy. I may even offer up the cheesecake filled ones if I’m really feeling the guy, but not my best. My best is reserved for the man that will savor the complexity, smoothness, and richness of me, all of and only me. This is the man whose last name I’d proudly wear and whose child I’d willingly house in my womb.


The second reason is lack of security. If a woman doesn’t feel she can freely be herself with you, you won’t get the best of her in any capacity. This rings true most times in relationships that are abusive on some level, be it emotional, mental, or physical. There is always an ever-present fear factor. Liberty can’t operate and coexist with fear. There was only one man in my life that completely allowed me to be me, and even with him I held back because I knew I was not the only one. If he had been my faithful husband it would have been on and popping. There would have been almost nothing I would not have tried at least once, minus a threesome. There can only be one femme fatale in any bedroom I occupy. Yes, I am a whole lot of vain and selfish with my toys.


The last reason is she just doesn’t want to. Maybe the man is married, or he’s just something to do to pass time. Maybe she’s doing it out of sympathy because she feels sorry for the poor bloke. I have never had sympathy sex, but it happens. I doubt I would twerk his pole in true porno fashion if I was simply putting out to pacify him. No sir, he would get the dollar store barely suitable for consumption box of cookies.


My advice? Don't give your pearls, whatever they may be, your time, body, sex, mental stimulation, heart, etc. to swine. Don't kiss frogs in hopes they'll become what you see in them that they can't, and don't lay down with dogs that have been infested with fleas (i.e. other women). The dog may not harm you, but those fleas bite with intent to inject bitterness and pain. If you are a man-eater and can separate your heart from your vagina, then by all means, cast those pearls and enjoy yourself a nice BLT afterward. Now that, would be magic. I’ve never met a woman that could pull that one off and walk away still feeling whole.

These are solely my opinions. I do not own the rights to the image used in this post.

Miss Can't Get Right

She just can’t get over the relationship she was never in. Most times she’s a baby momma that became such from a meaningless fling, usually with a married man, or a woman that chose to spread the rods of her tent and commit to being in an uncommitted and unexclusive yet sexual relationship with an uncommitting man. Most women think their vajay-jays are the best he’s ever had, so quite naturally the aforementioned women just know in their heart of hearts they could make Mr. Uncommitting want to wife them. Either that, or he’s just all that in the sack and gets these women dick-matized.

Just so that we are clear, none of these people’s marital statuses are marked ‘married,’ and they all have their own places, so technically they are single and free to do what single people do, which is mingle. Miss Can’t Get Right (MCGR) and Mr. Uncommitting (Mr. U.) kick it, hang out, go a few places in public every now and again, and sex like rabbits. Of course you get to slowly learn bits and pieces about the person you are sexing because you are spending time together. Eventually things cool down and Mr. U. starts wandering. This is where things get complicated for Mr. U.’s penis and social life, and MCGR’s emotions. Apparently she’s either illiterate and couldn’t read the expiration date on her vagina, or she clearly didn’t get the memo that she wasn’t in an exclusive relationship and is, in fact, NOT HIS WIFE. Either way, she’s been living in the gray area of this non-relationship. I partially blame Mr. U. for this misinterpretation. When dealing with people, I would suggest you always say what you mean, and mean what you say, and more than that, your actions must match what you are saying.  You can’t say you’re just friends, with or without benefits, just cool, etc, yet entertain ‘what if’ scenarios/conversations such as what would it be like if you had a baby together or what it would be like if you were married. Those conversations leave MCGR and most other women with false senses of status, position, and entitlement, especially when it comes to the other women in Mr. U.’s life. This leads to MCGR snooping through your things, questioning you about who certain women in your life are, and sending women you’re facebook friends with inbox messages questioning their roles in your life and friending friends of friends just out of the clear blue sky. She also finds herself bumping into these women in public.  Is this by happenstance or not? Only she knows, but when she does meet these women face to face, she is sure to charge them up again about their positions in Mr. U.’s life. Ladies, please keep it classy by not confronting another woman about a man that is not yours, m’kay?

This childish and immature behavior is in part due to you, Mr. U., for not telling and showing this pseudo wifey-cum-obsessed woman what HER role in your life is or was. If you don’t man up and tell her exactly where she stands and backs it up with your actions you will either end up alone or with one of the simple thirsty chicks in your harem that just wants a man. No sane woman is going to put up with such nonsense while you use the sorry piss poor excuse of ‘that’s just how she is.’ The sane woman will know she will not have to put up with MCGR simply because 'that’s just how she is' because she knows that if you, Mr. U., can’t get through to her, policemen issuing notices, citations, and subpoenas WILL. It’s somewhat hard for desperate women to meet men while they’re behind bars serving time for restraining order violations and excessive harassment.

Get your ish together, people. Always be clear about what the relationship is and is not, and don’t subject innocent people to Miss Can’t Get Right’s asinine actions. Clearly this woman needs prayer, and Mr. U. has 99 problems, and a b*tch is 98 of them.

Don’t play the game if you are not well-versed on the Rules of Engagement. There will always be a wild card in the deck that trumps all.

I'm Back, well...almost

I promise I am cooking up a post and plan to return back to blogging. In the mean time, please check out an interview I did over at Naijaline's as well as a post I wrote as a guest blogger for 'Ashy 2 Classy.' Just click on the links below

Thanks kittens! *muah*

-Q

Interview with NaijaLines

Guest post on Ashy to Classy

Exotic Simplicity

Exotic Simplicity, my baby, my book of prosetry that touches on love (romantic, self, and eros), life, relationships, and spirituality, was birth two years after the demise of my marriage. It is written from the view point of every woman…the single woman, the married woman, the mistress, the single mother, the woman scorned, the praying woman, the confident woman, the vulnerable woman, and the woman that wears the crown of the sensualist. I have, as many other women have, embodied either some or all of the aforementioned roles. I penned this book not only as a means of self expression but also to liberally express what many women feel but either can’t or simply won’t. It is my hope that you thoroughly enjoy what I feel is my God-given gift to share with the world.

I am forever grateful to the bloggers, friends, and my family that encouraged me to put my work out there. They had more confidence in me than I did, for I was merely penning my deeply personal thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I leave you with an excerpt, and interview I did with On the Rise Magazine, my feature in Sistaz Magazine, and the links to purchase the book. I am ever grateful to all that have supported me, the compliments, encouragement, and mostly the critiques.

With love,

L. Chantay




Exotic Simplicity

Let me

Be your Mistress of Sanity

Eroticism

Lucid cerebral actuality

Fused with meditative spirituality

When I allow you to enter me

I enter you

Read you

Free you

Blow you…

Into a state of clairvoyance

Far surpassing perceived reality

Never had a high this high

For I am

The scent of ‘Black Love’ incense

Intermingled with deep inhalations of Life-lusting infused pheromones

With just a hint of seduction on the tongue

I am…Exotic Simplicity


On the Rise


Sistaz Mag

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Potential Book Cover

Hello beautiful people!!! I am almost done with the book. Here is a preview of one of the potential covers for the book. I might post more and let you guys decide. Here goes nothing...

King of Calm

It’s been a long time. This feels like the tranquility of entering a log cabin in Aspen , dropping the luggage at the door, stripping down to nothing but skivvies, a thin sheer baby T, a cashmere scarf, and soft aloe infused socks. Followed by pouring a nice perfectly full bodied glass of Cabernet, strolling across dark chocolate colored wooden floors, and sinking into a plush cream colored micro suede body enveloping chair by the calmly flickering fire…



As I sift through the superficialities of life I am realizing that the richness of life lies in the simplicity of being. In the last 4 years of life I have been loved, screwed, fucked, fucked over, and made tender passionate love to. In the last year I have cried less than I ever have, made love to a man that relished in every inch of my body, experienced multiple orgasms, came so hard I swear I touched the sky and kissed a cloud, and watched this same man sit back smoke a blunt and just stare at me before heading to the kitchen to fry me some fish.



The relationship didn’t work. In between mind altering sex, deep fulfilling conversations, and late night cuddling I remembered that I still had two little boys that depend on me spiritually, and he remembered that he was afraid of love and its transforming powers. I went on a spiritual cleanse as he wallowed in the fear that Karma would be a bitch and sting his ass with the same hurt that he caused other women years before he met me.



I’m unfortunately fortunate that this wasn’t my first rodeo. This experience helped me grow. For once in my life there was a man that let me be me…all of me. He spoiled me sexually, mentally, affectionately, and allowed me the ability to just be. What we had was simple. When I was in his presence I simply was. Being with him was equivalent to taking a mental vacation away from it all. My mind never shuts off even when I sleep at night. I felt so secure with him that for once in my life I got to bask in the rich simplicity of being and not think about anything other than that moment in time.



For that, he will always be my King of Calm.

Reciprocity

This piece is going in my book, so your honest feedback is wanted and greatly appreciated.




Kiss me softly on the forehead and declare your adulation of me. Envelope my fingertips between the warm pillow-like cushions of your lips. I want to feel the arousing sensation of slow sensual kisses being distributed along my neck and shoulders, awakening my naughty epicenter. My stream of intoxicatingly warm serum overflows from provocation and excitement as you bury your face between my thighs, making me squeal from pleasurable torture.

Toss me over and playfully smack my…please, oh please take me from behind. Please don’t make me beg. It’s such a position of respected power. I feel like your damsel in distress; I trust you enough to let you have your way. You give me one breath stopping spine tingling stroke to calm me before placing me on my back.

You choose to make love to me. You opt to search my soul. I can hide nothing from you in this position; my every thought is revealed and shows on my face as you probe the deepest and innermost facets of my entity. You experiment and discover what makes me pant and moan, what feels best to me, and what causes me pain. Your main objective is to open me up so that you can release into me.

I thank you for gently prying me open so that I could liberate what you needed…