Nymph and Pegasus

I absolutely suck at dating. I always have. I’m witty, playful, and sarcastic with a seemingly endless supply of suitors, but I don’t play games. I’m always honest about what I want and how I feel, and I don’t enter into any relationship lightly and casually. I am looking for possession. I want pure intimacy and to totally merge with and consume my lover. Yes, I’m intense. In return though, I am extremely loyal, trustworthy, honest, and devoted. Maybe this has something to do with my Venus sign being in Scorpio.


I view people as investments, and I am pushy when it comes to encouraging others to follow their dreams and ambitions and utilizing natural talents. I will invest my time, attention, resources, honesty, concern, and love into the people I care about and believe in. This is why I prefer labels. I need to know my boundaries so I don’t overstep them, and having boundaries allows me to gauge how much of myself and my resources I should invest in a person. I don’t want to waste my emotions and time trying to build something with someone that either doesn’t appreciate it or simply doesn’t want it. Be upfront and honest with me about exactly what it is you want from me, be it just a friend, a potential relationship, someone to kick it with occasionally, a bennie, etc. Let me decide whether or not I want to be that. I am very content allowing men to take control and define what we are, but if they fail to, then I define things on my terms.

I have heard and read many times that insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly yet expecting different results. I keep falling for the tall, handsome, GQ-ish, crown royal on ice kind of man. You know, the suave nicely dressed ones that make you the envy of all women when you are draped across their arms. They are kind and generous, bold, authoritative with commanding presences, lavish their beautiful women with compliments, attention, and affection. Admittedly, I love having a bold but charming lover I can show off. I bask in the reflected glory of such. I blame my Mars being in Leo for this. I consider these men my equals, and well, we look damn good together. Men want to be them, and women want to be me. Their boldness and charm match mine, and their authoritativeness awaken my need for a partner that can challenge yet subdue me. They can hold their own intellectually and respect my free spiritedness, intellect, and independence. The problem with men like this and me is that I don’t like playing second fiddle or sharing my toys.

I never assume I am the only woman these men are seeing unless we have agreed to monogamy, but once I find out for sure they are seeing other women, I bounce, or at least remove some form of privilege from the relationship, which is usually my open playfulness and/or sex, leaving things more cerebral than before. I’d rather be celibate than knowingly share. Yes, I have a big ego, but more than that I am totally genuine and don’t have more than one sex partner at a time. I suppose I expect the same in return. The thought of kissing someone’s lips that may have been on another woman’s honey pot just hours before literally disgusts and pisses me off. It’s all about reciprocity for me.

Yes, I am an oxymoron of a woman in many ways. What I essentially am holding out for is one I can give all of me to, one that can really appreciate my deep sensuality as well as my mind. Once I am secured there is hardly anything I wouldn’t do, give, or try to keep things the way they should be. I always gauge the temperature of the relationships in order to know what needs to be injected or subtracted to keep a sexy flow and balance of harmony and passion going. Maybe this nymph is hoping for her personal Pegasus to ride into realms and dimensions unexplored and live like the gods we are. I’m a dreamer with big faith, but I’m far from a myth. I’m the real thing.

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