Birth Order

I love researching personality traits. I don’t know why. I am an older child with a younger sister, and I must say that I share many older and only child characteristics, and I see the same in my oldest son, Kailon. I also see youngest child traits in my other son Kambren. Here are a few excerpts about birth order and their affects on personality, parental style, as well as the role they play in romantic relationships.


First Born

Newscasters and TV talk show hosts tend to be first born or only children. Prominent examples include: Peter Jennings, Dan Rather, Ted Koppel, and Oprah. Over half of U.S presidents were firstborns. Clearly, firstborns are natural leaders. They also tend to be reliable, conscientious and perfectionists who don't like surprises. Although, firstborns are typically aggressive, many are also compliant people pleasers. They are model children who have a strong need for approval from anyone in charge.

Positives: They are natural leaders and often high achievers. The majority of politicians, spokespersons and managing directors are first-borns. They frequently live with a sense of entitlement and even superiority. They often come in two flavors: compliant nurturers/caregivers or aggressive movers and shakers. Both are in control; they just use different methods. As a rule, first-borns are picky, precise people - they pay attention to detail - tend to be punctual, organized, and competent. They want to see things done right the first time. They don't like surprises.

Negatives: They are often moody and occasionally lack sensitivity. They can be intimidating, particularly by pushing people too hard, or refusing to take no for an answer. Sometimes they can be a bit 'know-it-all', and often they are poor at delegating - largely because they don't trust other people as much as they trust themselves. They also tend to be bossy, perfectionists and overly-conscientious.

Only Children

Only children are firstborns in triplicate. They are even more responsible and even bigger perfectionists. They usually get along better with people older than themselves.

Positives: Only-borns are the mega-movers of the world. They are task-orientated; tend to be extremely well organized, highly conscientious and dependable. They are keen on facts, ideas and details and feel extremely comfortable with responsibility.

Negatives: The negative characteristics of only-borns can be tough to handle. They are often unforgiving, very demanding, hate to admit they're wrong and usually don't accept criticism well. To others, they seem very sensitive and indeed, their feelings are easily hurt.

Middle Child

These kids are the most difficult to pin down. They are guaranteed to be opposite of their older sibling, but that difference can manifest in a variety of ways. Middle children often feel like their older brother gets all the glory while their younger sister escapes all discipline. Because the middle child feels that the world pays him less attention, he tends to be secretive; he does not openly share his thoughts or feelings. Middle children may not feel they have a special place in the family so friends and peer groups become much more important. They can usually read people well, they are peacemakers who see all sides of a situation, and they are independent and inventive. If a firstborn is a company's CEO, the middle child is the entrepreneur.

Positives: The classic middle-born is very relational, tends to be a people-pleaser and usually hates confrontation. Their basic need is to keep life smooth and their motto might be 'peace at any price'. They are usually very calm, will roll with the punches and are amiable, down-to-earth and great listeners. They are skilled at seeing both sides of a problem and eager to make everybody happy. That makes them good mediators and negotiators.

Negatives: They tend to be less driven than first-borns, but are much more eager to be liked - or at least be happy with them. They have a difficult time setting boundaries. They can drift into becoming 'co-dependent' as they try to please everybody. They are not good at making decisions that will offend others. They also tend to blame themselves when others fail.

Last Born

Babies of the family are social and outgoing, they are the most financially irresponsible of all birth orders. They just want to have a good time. Knowing that these kids love the limelight, it's no surprise to discover that Billy Crystal, Goldie Hawn, Drew Carey, Jim Carey and Steve Martin are all lastborns. While lastborns may be charming, they also have the potential to be manipulative, spoiled or babied to the point of helplessness.

Positives: Last-borns are the world's cheerleaders. You have strong people skills and love to entertain and talk to others. You make friends easily and immediately make others feel at home. You're an extrovert, energized by the presence of other people and you're probably not afraid to take risks.

Negatives: Last-borns tend to get bored quickly. They have a strong fear of rejection and a short attention span. When the fun stops, they've had enough and want to check out. To some extent they're self-centre. They may harbor unrealistic expectations of finding a relationship that is always fun - and of course, such relationships simply do not last.

Okay, this post is longer than I intended, so I will blog about parenting according to your child’s traits and romantic compatibility later this week.


Over and out,

Queen





Info found on the web @:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/06/10/earlyshow/living/parenting/main511694.shtml

http://www.ivillage.co.uk/relationships/famfri/family/articles/0,,163_559974-2,00.html